tears of forgiveness

I once had an altercation with a very close friend who was also a member of my congregation.  The details of this argument are murky, lost in the emotions of the experience.  Like many an argument it was the product of miscommunication, misunderstandings and mistakes.  I was at fault as much as anyone else for the role that I played in this devastating conflict.

The two of us basically had it out with each other, accusing each other of disrespect each other and not supporting one another.  When it was all said and done there was an emptiness; an I can’t believe we just did that.  Is it possible to turn back the clock.  To go back and not let it come to this.  We were both devastated and assumed that our friendship was over. 

I walked away and cried.  My friend asked if he could talk to me again and so not knowing what he was going to say I agreed.  He grabbed me and gave me a hug and we both stood there hugging and crying.  It sounds kind of cheesy for two grown men to cry and hug like that.  But, what’s really cheesy is letting our own selfishness destroy a friendship and distance two people. 

Those tears were the release of all the frustration and separation that had come between us.  They were the sweet tears of forgiveness and I would gladly shed them again to bring healing and peace.  What’s not important is whether we sinned but that we forgave and allowed God’s grace to bring healing and wholeness to our lives and our relationship. 

Too often we focus on whose at fault and whether or not some action was a sin.  Basically, we’re trying to justify ourselves and trying to find a way to get out of a situation without having to give up too much.  In other words, we’re being selfish when we look for whose to blame and whether or not there are consequences.  But, my friend and I put all that aside and simply forgave each other acknowledging that we both were at fault and we both were victims needing the grace of God to heal us and forgive us. 

Those tears were the very essence of forgiveness revealing a reality that went beyond words.  The tears were filled with the life of Christ healing the wounds that we had inflicted upon each other and restoring our friendship with one another.  Whenever there’s a conflict let the tears roll from the heart and heal the wounds of selfish pride.